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Joke of the Day

"I just put on sine trousers I haven't worn since a wedding in 2001. I found a Nokia 3210 in the pocket... It still had 2 bars of battery. *some trousers"

"Want to get noticed? Go jogging without moving your arms."

"The Binding Of Isaac Movie Just imagine The Binding Of Isaac Movie. He will find a Brimstone, Spoon Bender and Holy Mantle . It will be a pretty short movie I guess."

"You've just made a very lazy enemy my friend."

"I saw this lady vogueing alone so I felt bad and started dancing with her. Anyone know sign language for 'Im sorry'?"

"My wife made pancakes but they were totally lumpy and it's like, do you even sift bro?"

"Pot smokers like to say it's safe because it's natural. Other safe natural things include sunburn, poison ivy, and being eaten by a bear."

"I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them ""My Dixie wrecked"""

"What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted? One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)"

"What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone"