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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted? One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)"

"Guys, I'm quitting Halloween. I'm on the pumpkin patch!"

"Don't judge Charlie Sheen until you've snorted a mile in his coke."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day."

"how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the back, 2 in the front, ad six million in the ashtray."

"Dreading going to gym. It's kinda late. Open 24hrs, tho. Hey, you know who else is open 24hrs? McDonalds. Yeah. I'm going to McDonald's."

"A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel sticking out his crotch. 'Does that not hurt?' asks the bartender. To which the pirate replies: 'Yaarr, it's driving me nuts!'"

"How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist"

"Are you going to buy something this time? Or are you ""just curious""? Let's just say I'm buy-curious."

"Why did the religious bull get mad Because he had a bi-son"