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Joke of the Day

"How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb? Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad."

"What if you had an eye in your asshole? Imagine all the shit you would see..."

"You know who the most popular guy at a nudist colony is? The one who can walk with 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts."

"If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian... then soviet"

"Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah. He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion."

"I thought I caught a snorlax on pokemon go turns out i was on tinder"

"Why can't a blonde count to 70? Because 69 is always a mouthful."

"Farts are like children. The only ones that I like are my own."

"What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD? One is a cunning runt."

"Customer: Waiter I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together."