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Joke of the Day

"Farts are like children. The only ones that I like are my own."

"I hate colored pencils. I'd rather dye than use them."

"What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire? Arrr son!"

"MurphySnowden Law of Fluid Dynamics Everything leaks out eventually."

"Why was the cheesemaker lopsided? Because he only had one Stilton!"

"What I lack in imagination I make up for in....stuff."

"I found out today it's OK to date a nun.... You just can't get in the habit!"

"The Flat Earth Society No further comments needed."

"Whenever I wear shorts it looks like I murdered a fat toddler and stole his pants."

"Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo Today ? Apparently they still have 500 million users."