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Joke of the Day

"""how did your husband die?"" A mixture of marijuana overdose and homosexuality. r.i.p miss you every day."

"""How'd you die?"" ""I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You?"" ""I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen"" ""Oh.."""

"Anyone can recommend a good Hobbit movie?"

"What's the worst part about fuckin terrorists? Their hairy assholes..."

"I enjoy jogging in the mountains because nature is beautiful and cardiac arrest excites me."

"Santa Clause and a Jew [NSFW] Whats the difference between Santa Clause and a Jew? Santa Clause comes down the Chimney."

"Ever accidentally say 'I love you' to important business customers on the phone? Me too. I MEAN ME NEITHER."

"Did it hurt when you fell from a lab where science is studied which has rendered religion obsolete? (Atheist pick-up line)"

"They tried to make me go to rehab... They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said... 'I don't have insurance'. And that was the end of that."

"If you've met someone a few times but still can't remember their name, one trick is to avoid them for the rest of your life."