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Joke of the Day

"They tried to make me go to rehab... They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said... 'I don't have insurance'. And that was the end of that."

"I'm confused. Celebrity comedians are paid millions of dollars... Yet the funniest people on the internet are janitors and stay-at-home moms."

"They're only 1 letter apart, but the difference between grapejuice & rapejuice is significant."

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? **R** systems have detected a breach of copyright coming from your home address."

"I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50."

"What kind of doctor deals with pussies? A whinecologist."

"Knock Knock... Knock knock Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No need to cry, it's only a joke."

"I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version... Nobody expects the Spanish text edition."

"How do you walk a dog with no legs? You don't, you pick it up."

"How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice? He won't stop banging at the door."