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Joke of the Day

"""How'd you die?"" ""I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You?"" ""I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen"" ""Oh.."""

"What type of Bees provide millk? Boobees (boobies)"

"It goes without saying, that..."

"Why do witches go commando when riding around on their brooms? Better grip. Happy Halloween :)"

"My friend just had a baby. He ordered it online from the Taiwanese black market."

"Me: My blood pressure is sky high. I need to get my affairs in order. Him: Make a will? Me: I was thinking flings with hot men, but OK."

"It was so cold in D.C. today... ...that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . ."

"Gene Simmons is giving tongue to a Hamas tunnel. His tongue is so long it comes out at the other end of the tunnel."

"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your long term goals"" Sleeping ""No, I meant-"" *leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change"