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Joke of the Day

"Anglo/German Dad Joke Q: What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull? A: 10:45"

"A guy was stealing Morton and Everstart. He punched the owner when confronted... He was charged with assault and battery."

"Why can you only date girls named Ana?... ...because I got a tattoo that says Ana"

"How can you tell that a shrimp with a big dick was walking down the beach? Because he left a shrimp cock-trail."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who do and those who dont"

"Why is the plunger gay? He was born that way you homophobe!"

"What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'? They are both santa clauses."

"What do you get when you cross a Drug cartel and a Mafia lord? Probably killed."

"If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that shit means but at least they're not talking to you anymore"

"The doctor gave me 1 month to live So I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved."