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Joke of the Day

"A guy was stealing Morton and Everstart. He punched the owner when confronted... He was charged with assault and battery."

"What is a prime way of knowing when a retard is thirsty? He'll have water on the brain."

"The only kind of meat a priest can eat on a Friday..... is nun."

"Is there a difference between our farts? Your gas is as good as mine :\"

"Jesus said to Moses: ""Come forth and I will grant you eternal life!"" Moses came fifth and he won a toaster."

"Boy: Dad Dad come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself."

"This vodka tastes strange, kinda like I'm not going to work tomorrow."

"How do you make a little boy cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on his teddy bear. (think about it)"

"Who needs Black Friday... when you have Mike Brown Monday?"

"My Mother in law said to me: ""I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"" ""Good!"" I said, ""I'm being buried at sea."""