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Joke of the Day

"If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that shit means but at least they're not talking to you anymore"

Next Joke
 
"Everything electrical runs on smoke They don't work after you let the smoke out"
"Solving the Mystery by Ivor Clew"
"Today I am celebrating 100 days without alcohol! Not consecutively, though."
"What do you call a monkey with a white bandanna tied to his tail? A surrender monkey"
"As it is Alabama, It wouldn't be proper without the traditional speech... From the father of the bride and groom."
"Masturbation is like procasination In the end you're just fucking yourself"
"Why should you never let a squirrel give you a blow job? Cause beastiality is wrong."
"The hardest thing about being a Pink Floyd fan... ...is watching a vegetarian eat pudding."
"I like my women like I like my cars Fast, loud, and used. Off craigslist."