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Joke of the Day

"My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?"

"What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking ""Why"" over and over? ""Because I saw so."""

"What is Benedict Cumberbatch going as for Halloween? Benedict Pumpkinpatch"

"Every time ""Cops"" comes on I'm like ""PLEASE don't show my episode."""

"I took up guitar lessons recently. It's pretty simple, really. Unless the song requires the blue button."

"Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game? They needed to give their characters an eye-patch."

"What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist? THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!"

"The difference between 4Chan and Reddit. http://www.wwwdotcom.com/"

"What do you call a brown woman with a yeast infection? Beef Wellington"

"Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream? A: He was hit by a bus"