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Joke of the Day

"What is Benedict Cumberbatch going as for Halloween? Benedict Pumpkinpatch"

"How do you know if someone has run a marathon? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I guess traffic is spending the night Because it brought its jammies."

"Why did the knife quit? It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! ~Skip"

"Did you here about the Jewish son who asked his father for $50? The father says - ""40 dollars, what do you need 30 dollars for?"""

"What disease do elderly dinosaurs get? Jurassic Parkinsons"

"Where should you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"Cowboy and a Drugstore Clerk Cowboy: Give me three packs of condoms please. Clerk: You need a bag with that? Cowboy: Nah... She's purty good lookin..."

"Told my mom ""The D"" stood for donuts, and now she won't stop telling people she wants the chocolate D."

"Jay-Z puts down his phone and rolls his eyes. ""The wife."" ""I hear that!"" says Kanye, trying do the same but accidentally going cross-eyed."