198814

Joke of the Day

"What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist? THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!"

"Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?"

"Sex is so much more with a big penis . . . With a small penis, you're barely scratching the cervix."

"What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else? In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe."

"Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby."

"Brother: *calls* Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow? Me: Sure. Can't wait to see you. Him: I land at 5 AM. Me: I have no brother."

"I think there are female hormones in beer Because, if you start drinking to much you start to get fat and you lose the ability to drive."

"What's the best part of an ISIS joke? The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now."

"Death by chickpea... What do you call it when a chickpea smashes another one to death? Hummuscide Thanks, I'm out."

"My problem is I take things too literally. Like when my wife said she'd give an arm and a leg to lose weight."