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Joke of the Day

"What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking ""Why"" over and over? ""Because I saw so."""

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"My girlfriend is like my iPhone 6 I don't have an iPhone 6"
"the series finale of Game of Thrones will be the camera pulling back & revealing it was a snowglobe and the owner is watching sports instead"
"Had my autobiography published last year and haven't sold one copy.... Story of my life."
"The secret to a long life Avoid death"
"An attractive Girl sits on a guys lap After a few second the girl asks ""You don't have a boner? How do you do it?"" The man replies ""Its harder than you think."""
"What do you call fake excrement? Shampoo."
"I like my women like I like my wine 12 years old and locked in the basement Edit:I like most things without dicks aswell"
"I have my girlfriend a teeth whitening today. Too bad most landed on her chin"
"What do you call a gay rock. A fruity pebble."
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