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Joke of the Day

"Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream? A: He was hit by a bus"

"Who is this ""one""? And why is he always arguing with people?"

"I just picked a Chapstick up from my bedside table, spent 30 seconds trying to get the lid off with my teeth, then realized it was a battery"

"Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills."

"U just HAD to be polite & hold the elevator for me. I could have had a nice, quiet ride alone. Instead, I had to be polite & talk about fall"

"Commissioner Gordon: It says here that bats sleep upside down and wee over themselves. Batman: We also poop. CG: We? B: They. I mean they"

"I invited a girl back to my house for cocktails. She got excited at the thought but left when I started telling her stories about my rooster."

"I like your name Thanks I got it for my birthday"

"When I saw ""likes music"" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!"