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Joke of the Day

"What do we want? ROCK HARD ABS! When do we want them? THE DAY AFTER THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!"

"[Serious] Tell me an offensive joke..."

"So I went to an Ethiopian restaurant last week... and I am still waiting for the food."

"*interrupts your class* Girl sorry to embarrass you, but I wrote this for you *whips out guitar, fucks up intro* wait. *tries again* wait."

"When I go down on you, it makes you very happy. And when I come back up I will fuck you good and hard. What am I? Gas prices."

"What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes? Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder."

"God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes God super mad."

"For Christmas this year I'm going to pay my bills and look at pictures of Europe and cry."

"Want to learn how to keep an idiot occupied for hours? [Click here to find out!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/44z1io/want_to_learn_how_to_keep_an_idiot_occupied_for/)"

"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special."