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Joke of the Day

"*reheats leftovers from yesterday's dinner date* *takes bite* *waiter from last night knocks on window* ""how's everything tasting folks"""

"Are you reading this from a toilet? I'm writing this from one."

"So a lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre... ...and the bartender gives it to her."

"I want my funeral to be sad and completely serious. Then right when my coffin starts lowering into the ground the song from Tetris plays."

"Why was Cinderella bad at basketball? Because her coach was always a pumpkin."

"I'm rich! But not in money, just in read receipts from my ex-boyfriend who never replies!"

"The rotation of Earth always makes my day. Makes my night too."

"Why did Moses vote for Al Gore? Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years."

"If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question."

"Hi! Welcome to my makeup tutorial SO, the first step is to be a beautiful 20 year old with lots of money"