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Joke of the Day

"*reheats leftovers from yesterday's dinner date* *takes bite* *waiter from last night knocks on window* ""how's everything tasting folks"""

"""What do we want?"" ""AIRPLANE NOISES!"" ""When do we want them?"" ""NEEEEOOOWWWWW"" I'm very sorry"

"Was told to fuck bitches and get money. All I got was charged with bestiality"

"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."

"what did the zero say to the eight? nice belt"

"What did one hash brownie say to the other? We're so baked. What did the stoner say to his friend? I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other."

"Did you mean ASK or axe? Cause seriously, one is a murder weapon."

"Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea? I mean cry me a river river right?"

"40 world leaders are in DC tonight. Blocks away, George Clinton is playing a show. Does Joe Biden know what a big funking deal that is?"

"Her: I'm leaving you Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns? Her: Yah Me: But Aenid you"