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Joke of the Day

"My impression Of the fonz refusing medical treatment for mental illness in the 50's ....Lobotomy..... Loboto-u, eyyy."

"I found the rulebook for an old card game at my grandfather's house. ""Draw a card, if it's black, take a shot."" Oh wait, that's just the LAPD guidebook."

"It's so cold in south florida, I just saw an iguana kill a squirrel and use it as a scarf."

"What do you call an X-Games athlete who placed dead last? A louger."

"Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in??"

"It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend ...and I'm just thankful that I'll have ebola turkey soup and not ebola the deadly disease."

"I save a ton of money on teeth whitening by not smiling."

"Say what you want... ...about deaf people..."

"Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo? They only had two vans"

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you."