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Joke of the Day
"My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child."
Next Joke
"I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me."
"What did the hooker say to the blind man? ""Come here"""
"Apparently, Emma Watson is to star in the movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. If this turns out to be true, by the end of that movie my peni$ will be fifty shades of purple."
"When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
"What sport do you play with a wombat? Wom"
"A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer."
"1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, ""Where do babies come from?"" laugh, ""Where DON'T they come from!"" and open every cabinet."
"If you want to annoy a programmer... Give him a bug-type Pokemon"
"Do I at least get to yell ""Jenga!"" if my life falls apart?"