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Joke of the Day

"Mitt Romney announcing he's not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won't be a sequel to Mortdecai."

"After 2 divorces, I gave up on that 'dream girl' shit long ago. At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I'll talk to her..."

"I like my women like I like my coffee I hate coffee."

"What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini!"

"I think Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station."

"I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can't even afford A washer or a dryer"

"Why do java programmers need to wear glasses? Because they can't C#!"

"What do you call an Englishman with no butt? An assless chap."

"If i would gift every redditor reddit gold how much will it cost me ? A small loan of a million dollars."

"Saying Trump can't be an antisemite because his daughter converted to Judaism is like saying he can't be sexist because he married a woman."