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Joke of the Day

"Dear all bands: Not everyone in the band has to have a beard. Start with the drummer and if you still suck, just add beards as needed."

"What's a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks."

"Dang girl are you Die Hard on TBS because it looks like all the good parts are missing."

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."

"Sometimes I do things to children that they're too young to understand... ...such as teaching them calculus and microbiology."

"Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose."

"A high schooled student becomes a national hero after taking down a school shooter But was expelled because of the schools zero tolerance policy"

"Date: you've already made me laugh, you can do no wrong Me: challenge accepted."

"What can you use to fill your butt crack? Ass-fault"