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Joke of the Day

"My niece just asked for ""cow juice."" So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 10% off"

"What do you call an all panda furry orgy? Panda-moan-ium"

"Who are worse than Hitler, Stalin and Mao combined? The mods of this subreddit."

"I want to make a joke about Mexicans... ... but I don't want to cross the border."

"What do you call an isolated mystical forest creature? Gnome alone."

"I can't get out of bed. These blankets has accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust!"

"And the lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and received a toaster."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard!"

"With Vladimir Putin so eager to restore ties, I think the U.S and Russia should form one country. We can call it The United States of Soviet Russia! USSR for short."