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Joke of the Day

"[cats at shelter] Where's Frank? ""Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now."""

"It's not cool to skip on dating someone who talks funny -- just because your english is gooder than theirs be."

"A knock-knock joke for identical twins Knock Knock Who's there? Who's. Who's who? I'm Andrew and that's Anthony."

"Why was the tallest man in the world troubled? Because he had no one to look up to."

"My wife just put lipstick on. She only does this on special occasions...you know what's next fellas..... We're going to church."

"Got Abs bro? Abs olutely."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Artichoke ! Artichoke who ! Artichoke when he swallowed his yo-yo !"

"I told my dog to sit . . . . . . but he half-assed it."

"What's big and green and sits in the corner? The Incredible Sulk!"

"Some people say , well I'm glad I'm not as crazy as Jon . And I'm like glad I'm not as crazy as the people in the loony bin . The people in the loony Ben are like.... I'm glad I'm a squirrel."