115981

Joke of the Day

"It's not cool to skip on dating someone who talks funny -- just because your english is gooder than theirs be."

"I used to be in a relationship with a Mobius loop It was very one-sided."

"What's the difference between a prostitute with diarrhoea and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker shucks between fits."

"I wish my ex girlfriend was a Ninja, this way I'd never see her"

"Why did Ellen Pao cross the road? [deleted]"

"Say - didja hear about the LGBT who keeps telling bad Bruce Jenner jokes? (wait for it ... wait for it Yeah - every one thinks he's a real bruisance ..."

"Programmers How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem."

"I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says ""Shaved Ice"""

"""You're attachment is too large,"" my computer tells me. I blush. ""My eyes are up here,"" I respond coyly."

"They always tell me, ""Measure twice. Cut once""... ...but they never say which of the two measurements I should use to cut by."