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Joke of the Day

"I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted ""I'm in the cat"" to, is thinking right now."

"I have 2 moods. Sleep is for the weak and I want to sleep for a week."

"The greatest trick the devil ever played was making you feel productive when you're really just fucking around."

"Man texted: ""I want you to be my little angle."" I answered: ""Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?"" Two days have passed, no reply."

"What If Google was a lesbian There will be more women empowerment :)"

"You know what's great about being single ? Fucking everything"

"Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions? It pains them to have standards."

"So called ""Trader"" Joe's wouldn't let me pay with furs or rum or even live birds."

"RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil."