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Joke of the Day
"Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions? It pains them to have standards."
Next Joke
"What is a pirates favorite letter? You'd think it be the arr but it's actually the sea"
"Magic Mirror Mirror Mirror in my hand, show me the ugliest person in the land."
"Why did the thalidomide man get stopped going through customs? He was caught in the possession of small arms"
"I had a bukkake party last night. You should have come"
"Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT. Me: *walks downstairs* where the hell is my toaster and microwave?"
"If someone is better at something than you, learn from them, let them teach you, or bathe in their blood so you can absorb their power."
"Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti? The recipe told her to mints her garlic."
"You get in trouble for resisting arrest, but apparently you don't get extra credit for handcuffing yourself in advance."
"A salesman came to my door and tried to sell me a coffin. ""Nah, thats the last thing I'll need"""