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Joke of the Day
"I have 2 moods. Sleep is for the weak and I want to sleep for a week."
Next Joke
"Studies show... Studies show that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers."
"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free"
"If you think that there's nothing that can make your plants stay alive... Watering can"
"What is the difference between paint and a midgets' underpants? When you sniff paint, you get high"
"5,""So we don't get to open any presents today?"" Me, ""No."" 5, ""So basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"""
"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We both end up with sticky hands after using the web."
"Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you are a mouse!"
"Trying to assemble a team of superhero sex offenders. We definitely need the Flash."
"What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen? Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen."