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Joke of the Day

"I recently joined a support group for people who peaked in high school. It's called Crossfit"

"Two homosexuals are bored... "" Let's play a game, if you win I'll play the girl's role. -OK -What has four legs and goes meow? -A crocodile. -You won !"""

"I think my wife has a surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed."

"""If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly how did it fall off?"" Interviewer: I meant about the job. Me: Oh.... no I'm good."

"mathematician Why do mathematicians only count up to 287? Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue."

"It's weird how we are all here because of boners"

"All phones can be categorized into two groups You have the iPhones, then you have the good phones."

"Coaching my son's soccer team, I thought moms would be all over me - no! They are always, ""The popsicles are for AFTER the game."" Bitches."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who got his calculator stuck up his bum? He had to work it out with a pencil..."

"*at a restaurant* Don't be awkward, don't be awkward Waitress: how's the food? Me: yes"