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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the mathematician who got his calculator stuck up his bum? He had to work it out with a pencil..."

"The world is a magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something"

"I'm really good at making jazzy versions of rap songs in my bathroom but I don't know how to put that on my resume so I'll just demonstrate?"

"A highlighter is just a regular lighter that knows how to have a good time."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? As a child, you could have been anything. And one by one, you didn't become any of them."

"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register"

"How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side"

"You know whats the problem with Proctologists.... They always butt in."

"It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars."

"Why do penguins have skinny penises because they only have flippers"