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Joke of the Day

"""If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly how did it fall off?"" Interviewer: I meant about the job. Me: Oh.... no I'm good."

"As I was paying for a 15 year old escort I thought... ...I'm getting a really good deal on this car."

"What do the dolphins and the post office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays."

"I just read a book on Stockholm Syndrome. The first couple of chapters were terrible, but by the end I loved it!"

"What did the footballer's girlfriend think when she saw him standing between some goal posts? ""He's a keeper"""

"What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"judge: ""you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?"" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] ""that's correct"""

"If a pilot can't get it up during takeoff Is it called projectile dysfunction?"

"After a shortcut through the ghetto, I see what the hood rats like to drive... Housing prices down."

"When my date told me he was a 'culinary genius', I replied, 'Then this Brazilian won't go to waste!', and winked. Now we wait."