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Joke of the Day

"Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it's true what they say about not knowing what you've got until you've sold it to a gypsy."

"What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep? Salt."

"My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I'm bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge..."

"My favorite pickup line.... Hey, smell this... does this smell like chloroform?"

"NEWSFLASH - Greece/Euro Announcement The EU has just announced that with immediate effect all Euro notes will be printed on Greece-proof paper"

"Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East? Iran so far away"

"If I was married to you, I would put poison in your tea If I was married to you, madame, I would drink it"

"I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"""

"I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse."