14968

Joke of the Day

"*at a restaurant* Don't be awkward, don't be awkward Waitress: how's the food? Me: yes"

"What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe? I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank"

"My doctor told my my stool was loose. I should have warned him about sitting on it."

"How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time."

"My girlfriend likes it from behind while she's smoking a blunt. Snoop Doggy style."

"'C' has just been promoted to the second letter of the alphabet! However R & D believe the rise in C levels will result in a loss of B's."

"I was offered a threesome with a Japanese guy but I turned it down, after all, you know what they say about Japanese penises... ...they're really blurry."

"TIFU by buying a 10"" speaker instead of a 12"" one. Whoops, wrong sub."

"My friend said he was really down because of his car troubles... I told him i didn't wan't to hear his saab story."

"People who say gays are destroying the fabric of society have obviously never seen what a gay man can do with fabric."