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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her."
Next Joke
"We all knew that Jared Fogle loves the Subway Turkey Sub... but now we find out he likes to sneak a little salami into the bun too"
"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses"
"Difference between an android and an iphone. *iphone falls to the floor* Breaks screen. *android falls to the floor* Breaks floor."
"So Microsoft bought skype for millions of dollars Idiots didn't know skype's free."
"A dog fell 15 stories into a hot tub and lived to tail about it."
"My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, ""damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"""
"What do you call Jimmy Savile walking down the street? [British] ... a paedestrian... *grabs coat, shuffles out of room in silent shame*"
"So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon... One says to the other, ""Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"""
"Be careful out there guys. just met a girl, Kylie, and she told me her and her friends are so random...that could mean anything be safe ok"