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Joke of the Day

"We all knew that Jared Fogle loves the Subway Turkey Sub... but now we find out he likes to sneak a little salami into the bun too"

"How are men like carpet tiles? If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."

"My friend phoned me up at three in the morning. He said, ""Can you pick me up from the bar?"" I said, ""No mate, my arms aren't that long."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot. Knock knock. Who's there? *The chicken.*"

"LPT: Converting your dishwasher into a snow blower! Give the bitch a shovel!"

"What do you call a man who jokes that women always make mountains out of molehills? An ambulance."

"What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in? A high rise"

"Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute."

"Did you hear about Dictionary: The Musical? It's a play on words..."

"Did you here about the pizza place that when bankrupt? I guess they weren't making enough dough"