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Joke of the Day

"Does any one need work. Working with tulips? Putting your tulips on these nuts."

"I woke up this morning frightened because my penis had turned completely ORANGE! But then I calmed down when I remembered I was eating Cheetos in bed last night."

"apparently my psychiatrist doesn't appreciate that i call her my new drug dealer"

"When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?"

"What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus? ""Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"""

"Just when I think I'm 100% against the death penalty, I see a bright yellow hummer taking up two parking spots."

"If I had to choose between a stepstool and a device that let's me get even higher... ...I'd take the ladder. (I'll just leave now)"

"Where do terrorists like to go for a drink? The Allahu Ak Bar"

"What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds? Deez Nutz"

"Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy? Because he ate five fruits a day!"