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Joke of the Day

"When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?"

"I believe all people are equal... ...whether they're black, Chinese or normal."

"Don't go to zombie nightclubs... They're always dead."

"So I was peeing in the pool yesterday. The lifeguard hollered so loud, I almost fell in!"

"Hate to be that guy.... ... because he's a dick. Fuck him."

"What are the two fastest things in the world? The second fastest is your asshole snapping shut. The first fastest is that little drop of water..."

"By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one."

"Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality? Breast implants."

"Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y."

"I got arrested for shooting a black man I was charged for trying to impersonate a police officer"