92002

Joke of the Day

"I woke up this morning frightened because my penis had turned completely ORANGE! But then I calmed down when I remembered I was eating Cheetos in bed last night."

"I wish I was a helicase enzyme... ...because then I could unzip your genes"

"Why do Japanese people squint? Nuclear explosions are bright"

"If I could have back all the money I've spent on drugs and alcohol, I'd celebrate by buying more drugs and alcohol."

"The average person has sex 127 times a year. My december is going to be fucking awesome"

"Hannibal Lector must have slept around... I heard he was quite the man-eater."

"Fan: I've always admired you. Are your teeth your own? Actor: Whose do you think they are?"

"I'm looking for the funniest short joke ever Not short as in small, short as in short"

"Buys valentine. Writes ""I love you"" inside. Mails card to self. Receives card in mail. Reads card. ""Eww, why do I attract losers?"""

"WHY couldnet anyone win at the Bangkok Olympics Because its always a THAI game."