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Joke of the Day

"Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you're 3 and your parents are idiots."

"What's worse than being raped by your dad's penis? Also being forced to fill his Viagra prescription."

"Told my mom I was adopted. Totally April Fooled her ass."

"I'm gonna try and shoot the whole school Said the yearbook photographer"

"How do you know your at a gay bbq? Hotdogs taste like shit"

"Why are Mormons more like Muslims than they are like Christians? Christians are not-for-prophet organizations."

"What do you call an empty field? The french army at the beginning of a war!"

"Have you seen www.topsecret.com? If I have I'm not going to tell you."

"How do you start a conversation about men's rights? Mention feminism."

"Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours."