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Joke of the Day
"What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Its hips."
Next Joke
"Why wouldn't the two tampons talk to each other? They are both stuck-up cunts."
"I'm a big fan of 50 cent Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 10 billion dollars"
"My sexual desires have been getting out of control... But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I knew I'd hit rock bottom."
"What do pregnant women and prostitutes have in common? (w)hormones! NB: inspired by my hormonal pregnant wife."
"What's the best part about dating twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them."
"What does popcorn and KFC have in common? Greasy, old kernals"
"Where do otters come from? Otter space. [credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]"
"I like to skip my digestive system and just place my Chipotle burrito directly into my toilet."
"I realize that I'm obviously not learning from my mistakes....I still get up every morning and go to work."