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Joke of the Day
"Why don't pedophiles win marathons? They're always coming in a little behind.."
Next Joke
"that awkward moment when you stub your toe and accidentally summon the spirits of a thousand dead feet while you yell and curse"
"Foreigner? Why not fist her? Badoom TSSSSssT! (Say it out loud)"
"Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."
"It's like sex while camping.. it's fucking intense"
"I was really disappointed with Walmart There were only four of them in stock."
"Spandex is sausage casing for humans."
"no homo but imagine sleeping with a grizzly bear and being the little spoon..shit would be 100x better than a snuggie"
"cop: ""sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood"" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: ""ok that's better"""
"Turned on women's volleyball and within four minutes there was a wrist injury Don't worry I'll be fine"