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Joke of the Day

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table... And then some chairs... And then a plate Glass window..."

"At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one."

"I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it."

"Bono switched from Google to Bing But he still hasn't found what he's looking for"

"1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater"

"One for the scientists of Reddit: What does a posh duck say? Quark."

"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."

"What is a traitor? A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it."

"A virgin nun gets pregnant.... And she's sure it's not a miracle pregnancy so she bursts into the priests chambers and yells out ""which of you fuckers has been wanking on the candles?"""

"How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality? He just nose. All credit to my BFF"