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Joke of the Day

"One for the scientists of Reddit: What does a posh duck say? Quark."

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!"

"Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened."

"Congratulations! You successfully delivered that bell with no chips or chunks of it breaking off. Please see us to receive your... No Bell Piece Prize"

"What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa!"

"When I was a kid. I used to come home drunk & beat my Dad."

"Clever Husband. Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: It's for you and your parents."

"If I had a penny for every Trump joke made during the election... I could be the president in 2020"

"3 old ladies go to a baseball game with a bottle of liquor. They finish the bottle...what inning is it and what are the circumstances on the field? Bottom of the fifth and all the bags are loaded."

"What do you call 32 white people locked in a closet? A captive Cherokee."