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Joke of the Day

"How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality? He just nose. All credit to my BFF"

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection... ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"I was driving down the road when I spotted a black man walking along carrying a TV over his shoulder... ...I asked myself, ""Is that mine?"" Then I realized, mine was at home shining my shoes!"

"Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat"

"""Excuse me sir, are you really just a building in disguise?"" *storefront sweats nervously* ""N-n-no! I am human my name is Bill. Bill...Ding"""

"Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk? Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans."

"Why are gametes best suited to advertising careers? Because sex cells."

"What Do You Call A Gay Boxer? ""Fruit Punch"". I'm sorry."

"Finally, I got the model wife I always wanted Unfortunately she's a plus size model"

"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."