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Joke of the Day

"[Bags packed, leaving the ex] Ex:""I hope you have a slow and painful death!"" Me:""So now you want me to stay?"""

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and re-sell it."

"I'm out of tweets so I'm recycling some of my most dope MySpace status updates."

"That little dance your thumbs do when you don't know how to reply to someones text."

"How do you play Iraqi bingo? F18...B52...F18"

"How many nice guys does it take to screw a lightbulb? 0 cause they'll compliment it then get pissed off when it won't screw"

"History exam. There was no match for the history exam that Mr. Grey had set for his students. It was the Grey test of all time."

"What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico? They wash themselves."

"What do you call a planned organised rebellion gone wrong? A ""coup d'isaster""."

"When Princess Leia doesn't want to have Sex... Han reply: It's fine I'll do it with my hand... solo."