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Joke of the Day
"That little dance your thumbs do when you don't know how to reply to someones text."
Next Joke
"""See you tomorrow""? I do NOT go to Wendy's every day, Wendy's Lady. Check yourself."
"Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane."
"How do pasta strainers go to the bathroom? Through their little-ass holes"
"What did the last-place olympian say after someone stole his sled? What have I got to luge?"
"How is a women and peanut butter the same? It takes a lot of coaxing to get them to spread when they're cold"
"How do you get a baby into a shoebox? A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw."
"Him:The seven dwarves were on a bus, they all started to feel Sleepy. So Sleepy got off. Me:Oh come on, man! That pun was Dopey!"
"I never know what to do in these situations. Do I shake the boyfriend's hand or kiss her cheek to show how much I appreciate her ass?"
"Why did Bill Nye crash his car? Because inertia is a property of matter."