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Joke of the Day

"You might say I'm socially constipated... ... ... I haven't given a shit in years."

"I'll accept the 'fat fingers' excuse for typos but if you fuck up your/you're I'm going to need to see a doctor's note explaining your IQ."

"Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits' feet."

"Bus stop A man with three eyes, no arms and one leg is waiting at a bus stop. A bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and says, ""Eye eye eye, you look armless enough, hop on!"""

"I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match"

"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."

"Why did moses break his glasses in half? He wanted to part his sees."

"What's the difference between smoking weed and burning the koran? If you burn the koran, you can only get stoned once."

"[walking on beach] [find bottle with message in it] Message: IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING? [another bottle with message washes against my feet]"

"R.I.P water You will be mist!"