211014

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and re-sell it."

"A lot of people ask me ""why do you lie about the high number of people asking you things?"""

"if I were a serial killer, I would target people who scream when they sneeze"

"Two parrots are sitting on a Perch One says to the other ""Can you smell fish?"""

"Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange. No weirdos."

"The world is a dangerous place. Just the other day, I was walking down the street and I punched a guy in the face for absolutely no reason. Stay safe out there, folks."

"Men are three times more likely to successfully commit suicide than women. We get the shit done right."

"The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off That's either good or terrible"

"Knock knock... Who's there? Go fuck yourself."

"If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding."