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Joke of the Day

"I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams. It was the finals countdown. :D"

"(Translated from my mother tongue) What does a man do when he wants to end a marriage passively? He tries finding the expiration date on the marriage cirtifficate"

"What do you call two lesbians on a canoe? Fur Traders"

"My first wife was a great housekeeper. She kept both houses"

"What's blue and orange & sits at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with burst armbands."

"Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa? Because there's too many cheetahs!"

"I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side"

"How many people who subscribed to r/The_Donald does it take to screw in a light bulb? Obviously more than one because it's still dark in their mother's basement."

"My wife fell down a wishing well... I was amazed, I never knew they worked."