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Joke of the Day

"How many people who subscribed to r/The_Donald does it take to screw in a light bulb? Obviously more than one because it's still dark in their mother's basement."

"how many American cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just shoot the room for being black"

"How did the Haji find the goat in the tall grass? Satisfying"

"Autocorrect is horrible... I'm so tired of this shirt"

"eer booze and fun!' 'A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman ""Can I have a drink for me and one for the road?"""

"Hey guys where do Chemists come from? ... From the *Stork*iometry. I'll see myself out now."

"After drinking that much, I just hope whatever I bring back home is some sort of human."

"Chestnut. What do you call a nut on a chest? A chestnut. What do you call a nut on a wall? A walnut. What do you call a nut on a chin? A blowjob."

"Why aren't Tyler Perry movies for the light-hearted? They're dark comedies."

"I hate it when I go to the supermarket and the employees there comment on my groceries. Always with the ""Hey, sir, you have to pay for those!"" Every damn time."