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Joke of the Day

"(Translated from my mother tongue) What does a man do when he wants to end a marriage passively? He tries finding the expiration date on the marriage cirtifficate"

"No hedgehogs were harmed in the making of this short movie 'Ripping the Legs Off a Hedgehog So He Looks Like a Pinecone'."

"I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three, a left ear, right ear, and a Final Frontier."

"There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter."

"I'm 49 and my girlfriend is 5 months pregnant! What do you guys think we should do?"

"What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other..."

"Whats the difference between seeing a rapist in the daytime and seeing a rapist at night? At night you can only see the eyes and the grill."

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."

"What is made of Brass and sounds like Tom Jones Trombones!"